An Etonian and A Hustler
by OscarGray
Summary: When the British Establishment is rocked by a lowly Con-man, the Police suspect something more sinister and call for the nations greatest Servant. Sherlock Holmes.
1. Chapter 1

It was typical of Watson to be out when it was raining. Thought Sherlock Holmes as he casually read through that mornings edition of _The Times_. He had always the wretched luck of being caught outside in poor weather. Sherlock considered that he did not have these problems. He could observe from the movement of clouds what the weather would be like. He had even went as far as to lecture in Geography at the University of Cambridge – Yes, Sherlock had many talents that Watson did not have.

The door swept open just as Sherlock was lighting his pipe – he was going through a considerable amount of tobacco recently – something which he blamed on the exceptionally good rain falling in Greece. All of his tobacco being directly purchased from a farm in Greece that specialised in such a fine tobacco.

"Lovely weather." Stated Watson with a chuckle removing his coat and hat, which seemed to drop as much water as a decent-sized cloud, "I had no idea the weather was going to be this poor today Holmes."

"Why it is elementary my dear Watson, You should observe the clouds and their movements. You failed to take note of the weather Ireland experienced yesterday, heavy rain with no end. As the wind was so heavy, I could easily have told you that rain would be blessing our island today Watson." Holmes proceeded to place his pipe in his mouth and observe his colleague.

"Well Holmes. I was out and about, seeing what that con-artist had been up to."

"It is a simply con-man Watson" said Holmes with the pipe again in his hand. "I would tell you not to waste your time with such things."

"I think we may be called in to investigate the matter." said Watson in a manner which screamed more knowledge than he let on. "Have you not read the story about Her Majesty's carriage?" Watson gestured at the paper which sat folded in Sherlock's lap.

"I did read an article – That Her Majesty misplaced a golden time-piece she received from the German Kaiser. I assume it hasn't been misplaced?" said Holmes now curious. As proud an Englishman as one can imagine – was worrying over his Royal Family.

"Well Holmes, I went to Buckingham Palace this morning where I was met by a group of servants, all very well educated I belief. Sons of members of Parliament and such. However, I then spoke to a Butler who told me that on the 12th of this Month, A Prussian gentleman arrived to re-claim an article precious to the Kaiser. A Golden watch."

" I say, Watson – Was he really Prussian?"

"What difference does it make?"

"Well Watson – To track down a Prussian in London is no easy task. But to track down an Englishman who speaks one of the Germanic tongues is so much easier."

"I did not entertain such an idea when I spoke with the Prince of Wales."

"Why was I not invited to come along Watson?"

"Holmes please – The House of Lords members reported they gave away seven hundred pounds in reception to a German Prince, The House of Commons has sent its compliments to the same German. I have a list of all the expenses he incurred over two weeks." The list was produced from Watson's Jacket pocket and was only slightly damp. "Here." Was all Watson said as he handed the list over.

"Well Watson – I think if the British establishment is being attacked by a Con-man we must lend a hand to our Establishment."

Watson was still rather smug about the fact he had been to Parliament and the Home of the Royal Family. The difference was that Sherlock too had visited these places, but had actually met with her Britannic Majesty and had of course dined in the House of Commons. _Let Watson have his moment Holmes._

The List read the work of an impressive con-man. Although Holmes was occasionally tempted to use the phrase 'Hustler' as the term done its rounds in the United States. It read an itemised list made up by a Sergeant Wilkins.

"Dear Mr Watson,

The following thefts have been attributed to 'Jorg Von Whileham'

The theft from Her Majesty the Queen: one Golden watch; one set of dinner china; one book of stamps (valued at 1L 11S and 6D); an address book of various members of parliament and lords and over sixty pounds of expenses claims and alcohol.

The theft from Lord Newry:Six hundred pounds and eight shillings of expenses; One Pair of Riding Boots, One Shotgun, One Clydesdale Horse, Seven bottles of champagne and two tuxedos.

The thefts of the Lords:Nine hundred pounds of expenses, A further two thousands pounds in direct payments to 'Jorg Whileham' and an extra seventy pounds payments to 'Von Whileham'

4) The Commons:Over a thousand pounds in direct transfers and a set of postage equipment.

I trust this will help with your investigation.

I have the honour to be &c.c

Wilkins"

"I can easily deduct that this man is a drinker." Laughed Holmes. His pipe was then lit once more and he resumed smoking. "Watson – first point of call, the foreign office."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes:I actually have received a little bit of encouragement as to the writing of this story – I have chosen to use the third-person throughout as I believe Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote only 2 short stories in such a way. As a result I think I will come to less criticism if I attempt to add to an imperfect archive.

Chapter Two

The Office that the British Empire used to conduct foreign affairs was a tremendous piece of work. Sherlock found himself unusually taken by the classical design of the building. "Thank God for George Gilbert Scott." Was all he said to Watson as he made his way into the building. Watson, who had no idea what person was being praised by Holmes declined to ask lest his inferior intellect be ridiculed.

"Watson – Sir George designed the foreign office. Along with various Churches and Chapels." It was a testimony to Sherlock that despite his strong connection with the Anglican Church and its Protestant foundations – he never once held a kind word away from the Roman Catholic Church. "I feel this building is a grand piece of our noble Empire Watson." Watson again was at liberty to comment – a liberty he decided to ignore.

Up the grand stair-case rose the two finest policemen that the Kingdom of Great Britain has ever produced. They met with Sir Henry Nelson a famous architect who had recently been commissioned to renovate the main offices. "Sherlock Holmes?"

"Sir Henry Nelson?" replied Holmes taking the older man by his right hand. "This is my associate Doctor Watson." The usual pleasantries were exchanged. Sir Henry proceeded to hand Doctor Watson a large wooden box. The contents of which had been removed from the offices. Sherlock peered inside to find letters and other small effects. Most of which bore German Household Insignia.

"Will you take tea Mr. Holmes?" asked Sir Henry.

"No thank you Sir Henry" said Holmes turning to Watson "I think you had better ask Watson if he wishes some scotch. Watson rarely manages a trip to a government office without Scotch"

"I can not entertain Mr. Watson. I am afraid the Government is rather poorly stocked with alcohol at the moment." This drew a laugh from Sherlock who bit down on his pipe. "I trust you are not calling me a liar Mr. Holmes."

"Why my dear fellow – I would not dream of such a thing. I wish you to show me your stores of alcohol. Immediately." Said Sherlock. "You see, from my experience a government office is normally as dry as the River Thames." A laugh was produced from Dr. Watson, but no response was made from Sir Henry.

Sir Henry opened the large oak door with his left hand – gave a small wave of good day to the gentlemen and had left them in the room, the store room. This was the last room that Jorg Von Whileham had been known to set foot in. The stores were very elaborate. Their remained not a bottle of Champagne. Not a single of Scotch. Yet the bottles of Spannish and Portugeese wine which were – in July at least – more difficult to obtain had been left behind. "The list mentioned champagne going missing." Said Sherlock. "It did not mention Scotch"

Dr. Watson was looking through the box of letters – observing that all had parliamentary marks upon them – they were definitely the con-mans handy-work, no question as to it, something which did not go down well with Holmes.

"So we know that he wrote the letters Watson. So we know he is more than fluent in English." Sherlock seemed to be staring particularly at certain parts of each letter. "There is a curious occurrence in these letters Watson." Said Holmes who must have picked up on something ever so slight. "Notice the line,

"I must request an acquisition

Viz. a dozen pounds for expenses."

Look at the end of the word acquisition, and the V on the next line."

Watson took the letter and again read it – he knew it off by heart by now. Yet it did now appear rather strange. The end of the word 'acquisition' was bold – showing that ink had been newly added to the writing implement, but the next line was extremely faint, meaning that the ink had been used up quickly. Indeed never again did it appear as bold as it did just the word before.

"Of what consequence is this Holmes?"

"Quick drying ink and a quill Dr.Watson"

"Sorry?"

"Fetch me a bottle of quick drying ink and a quill please. Oh and some paper would go down an absolute treat. Please Watson."

Watson proceeded out of the room and Holmes began looking through the box. It contained several effects, nothing of any importance thought Holmes. Then again he was never too careful as to overlook anything. On other letters he did notice that the end of a line had always been bold but the start of a line was always kept faint. The cigarette case bore the Royal Household's emblem. No doubt an object lifted from the Royal Household. It confirmed Watson's original idea that the conman was in fact Prussian.

Watson came quickly in with the ink and the soft writing implement. He had spent the entire journey wondering what it was Holmes was wishing to check. "I spent some time at Cambridge University. Where I met a student by the name of Alfred Marshall- who stated to me that left handed people will always buy inks that are perceived to dry quicker. As there is less chance as to ink being smudged if they are to accidentally place their hand over."

Holmes with the quill in his right hand began writing copying the letter entirely, and then began writing with his left hand, he found after a while that he preferred to write with a lighter hand at the start of a line, whereas at the end of it he could right with any amount of ink he chose. "He's left handed." Watson was rather unimpressed by what relevance this had to the case "What? Holmes, you are telling me you wasted this visit to prove the handedness of this person! What relevance is it? We are trying to track him down!" the fifty-six steps up and fifty-six steps down from the floor he has obtained the ink were certainly telling.

"My dear Watson – This gentleman obtained a Clydesdale horse, which he has no doubt sold to one of the hundreds of London stables. That theft was on the 3rd of this month. Their couldn't have been many Clydesdales sold on that date. Their equally cannot be many sold by left handed people. I say Watson, if we could go to all the stables, and look at their log books – it should have signatures, The faintest of which will have been made by left-handed people. If we can from their track down the real criminal – we can ask him to sign a letter stating that he wishes temporary bail courtesy of Her Majesty's Government."

"Simple Holmes. Now all we have to do is find the culprit?" asked Watson

"The hardest part is over Watson. The Horse and The Hand. That's all I need to solve this."

While Watson and Holmes were discussing in the Foreign Office, Sir Henry had poured himself a large glass of Scotch. A damned detective could cause no end of trouble.


	3. Chapter 3

Watson was more than ready to point out to Holmes that several things had helped them today. For after all, Holmes had discovered that no public trading stable in or around London had purchased a horse in the last three days. He had however found out that some had been sold. Such an irrelevance amused Holmes, annoying Watson in equal measure.

"Watson" said Holmes as he sat by the fire – he should not have been sitting by the fire, that seat was rightfully Watson's. It had been Watson that was caught in the rain about ten minutes ago. – "I fear that this may be a simple Con man after some alcohol and some cheap thrills." Holmes looked at his newspaper. It was strangely not _The Times._ He had taken a liking to _The Citizen._

"I have the pleasure of knowing Holmes – that this crime is not a petty one. Call it a hunch or an old mans mind…." Holmes would not let the words of Dr. Watson go without opposition. He leaped up from his seat. Without raising his temper he said to Watson, "It is certainly not a Petty Crime Dr. Watson. This man has stolen from our Royal Family. He has stolen from this United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland…" suddenly something had occurred to Holmes. "Germany"

The day before had been an ordinary bit of business for the House of Commons, the Prime Minister William Gladstone had done well in his budget to outline a massive £3 million for the re-development of some of London's chaotic buildings. The 'House Of Commons Re-design Committee' met just after lunch.

The Chairman held aloft a letter from High Ranking Cabinet members. "Here Gentlemen, the Cabinet points out that the Foreign Office have no more use for the Foreign Office. As my honourable and right honourable friends are aware – the Great Sir Henry Nelson, is in charge of currently re-designing the foreign office." The speaker cleared his throat. "Therefore, We took the chance of speaking with a German Jorg Von Whileham, Who has said that his Government would be willing to re-consider the British Role in Africa if we would provide his nation a greater embassy." The Prime Minister entered into the committee room, to state his approval with a load "Hear Hear"

A motion was declared that the astronomical sum of £400,000 be given in gift to the German Jorg Von Whileham. That the Foreign Office, currently standing should be re-designed, demolished, extended or altered in any way shape or form. The Chairman of the Committee had never actually met the German. Yet, he had been sent letters by him – very many in fact.

"Sir." Said Thomas R. Gray "I must impress upon this Committee, My Lords and Gentlemen. Sir Henry Nelson is currently doing fine work. I move that we appoint Sir Henry – who currently knows the Foreign office – as chief architect for the new design. I would further request that he receive a salary second to none. AND my Lords and Gentlemen. I would further demand that he be given no less than three months to travel Germany and Prussia – to find the finest buildings."

Further motions were past. They were sent – ironically – to The Department of Agriculture which due to its administration of Farms had been most equipped to hold onto the £4 million budget. Over £760,000 was made available. Two employees were appointed, Sir Henry Nelson on £23,000 for the completion of the plans and £230 for each week he spent on them. On the request of Nelson Thomas R. Gray was appointed as Parliamentry Advisor and Chief Accountant. On the salary of £16,000 per annum.

"Did you read _The Citizen yesterday_?" said Watson. Looking at the old copy of _The Times _which had been left next to the coal bucket, a fire started so much easier with the use of paper, Holmes was out of his seat like a bullet out of a gun.

"I did Watson. In fact – Yes, their was an interesting article under the title 'A voice for the Marxist Cause' I cared little for it. Yet it did mention the poverty of our East End, whilst telling us that the Government has £14 million ear-marked for re-development of churches."

Sir Henry was an architect, he was at the foreign office, the Con-man was a foreigner, An admittedly smaller sum - (£4 million) – owing to the rhetoric of the citizen. Had been made available for the re-development of London's landmarks: "Get me Every entry into the Register of Members Interests Dr. Watson. I am off to the Foreign Office"

The detective and his trusted right hand man split apart. Watson to go to the Nations Legislative household – Holmes to the headquarters of the foreign office: Two thoughts filled the head of Sherlock Watson, The first? How on Earth could Sir Henry be German? Secondly, when was the last time he had smoke his trusted pipe?

Notes:The Prime Minster mentioned was Prime Minister of the time this story is set. The Two Committeemen mentioned however are not meant to bear any resemblance to any politician past or present.

I spent many (many!) hours trying to make this chapter work. I feel very poorly about it. Too much tying up to do, Effectively this Third Chapter may be considered only a first part of the Third Chapter. I feel it could use much improvement.

Yet, I feel it is also important to make progress with the rest of the story. Which, after such a failed experience in this chapter – shall be less dialogue intensive.

Oscargray


End file.
